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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm...

Getting ready to buy a "smartphone " for my kid........Question: from your experience, Do you recommend Sprint or Verizon ? I would appreciate any and all input.....Thanks in advance for your opinion and advice

Why did the 2011 tax return just come back? A friend wrote this note that he was confused about how slow the IRS was with his 2011 tax filing...... " I just received my tax return for 2011 back from the IRS. It puzzles me!!! They are questioning how many dependents I claimed. I...

The wives are wrong... I put fertilizer on the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more...

A gent was sitting in a pub in Dublin drinking a pint when he notices a couple of fat girls sitting across the bar from him. Being shy and somewhat of a lightweight himself, he downed a few more pints before gathering the courage to strike up a conversation. Having listened in on their...

I'm looking for a Humminbird 2 pin power cable. The same one used on every Humminbird since 1989 except the 1100 models. It doesn't mater how long it is as long as the 2 pin connector is good and it has at least a few inches of wire still attached. I've got an Old Humminbird 400 ID with the...

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a...

Department of Employment interview recorded The Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him. AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them. FARMER...

https://boatinfo.no/lib/library.html As spring nears, most of us will begin to make repairs to our boats and engines as needed. Above is a link that will take you to a site that will allow you to view and print the original FACTORY service manual for many outboard engines...Mercury, Johnson...

Happy Birthday my friend ! Many more to come (along with a LOT MORE fish !!) :beer: :roflmao:

The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening. He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going...

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: " that's nothing, I...

A woman goes into Wal-mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-mart associate standing there with dark glasses on. She asks, "Excuse me sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says...

----------------------------------------- FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus. ---------------------------------------------- MEMORIES: I can usually...

A group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says to the girl, "What are...

My wife, being the romantic sort, just sent me a text....: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you..." I replied... "I'm...

John's egg business John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought...

Refresher course. The top 29 things that you will never hear a REDNECK say: 29. Oh I just couldn't. She's only sixteen. 28. I'll take Shakespeare for $1000, Alex. 27. Duct tape won't fix that. 26. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 25. We don't keep firearms in this house. 24. You...

Funeral Service An Irishman was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary...

This rather brilliantly cuts thru all the political doublespeak we get. It puts it into a much better perspective. * U.S. Tax revenue: $2,170,000,000,000 * Fed budget: $3,820,000,000,000 * New debt: $ 1,650,000,000,000 * National debt: $14,271,000,000,000 * Recent budget cuts: $...