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Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players:

"He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear.

In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know

the meaning of a lot of words."

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Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.


One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."


The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?


Drool.

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How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take

to change a light bulb?


None. That's a sophomore course.

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How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?


The cow fell on him.

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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?


So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday,

go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

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A University of Mississippi football player was almost

killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.


He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.

Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

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What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane

football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "


"Will the defendant please rise."

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If three Florida State football players are in the same car,

who is driving?


The police officer.

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How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?


There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders

in one room?


A full set of teeth.

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University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going

to dress half of his players for the game this week;

the other half will have to dress themselves.

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Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?


He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

(They should stick to stealing Bikes, and getting off without any charges)

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How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?


Pay him for the pizza.

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What are the longest three years of a University

of Florida football player’s life?


Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.


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