FishingCop
Well-known member
1.
I think part of a best friend's job
should be to immediately
clear your computer's history
if you die.
2.
Nothing sucks more than
that moment during an argument
when you realize you're wrong.
3.
I totally take back
all those times
I didn't want to nap
when I was younger.
4.
There is great need
for a sarcasm font.
5.
How the hell are you
supposed to fold
a fitted sheet?
6.
Was learning cursive
really necessary?
7.
Map Quest needs
to start their directions
on #5.
I'm pretty sure
I know how to get
out of my neighborhood.
8.
Obituaries
would be a lot more interesting
if they told you
how the person died.
9.
I can't remember the last time
I wasn't at least
kind of tired.
10.
Bad decisions
make good stories.
11.
You never know
when it will strike,
but there comes
a moment at work
when you know that you
just aren't going to do
anything productive
for the rest of the day.
12.
Can we all just
agree to ignore
whatever comes
after Blue Ray?
I don't want to
have to
restart
my collection...
a-damn-gain.
13.
I'm always
slightly terrified
when I exit
out of Word
and it asks me
if I want to save
any changes to
the ten-page paper
that I swear
I did not make
any changes to.
14.
"Do not machine wash
or tumble dry"
means I will
never wash this
-- ever --.
15.
I hate it when
I miss a call
by the last ring
(Hello? Hello? Damn it!),
but when
I immediately
call back,
it rings nine times
and then goes
to voicemail.
What'd you do after
I didn't answer?
Drop the phone
and run away?
16.
I hate leaving
my house
confident and looking good
and then not
seeing anyone
of importance
the entire day.
What a waste.
17.
I keep some people's
phone numbers
in my phone
just so I know
not to answer
when they call.
18.
My 4-year old son
asked me in the car
the other day
"Dad what would happen
if you ran over a ninja?"
How the hell
do I respond
to that?
19.
I think the freezer
deserves a light
as well as the fridge..
20.
I disagree
with Kay Jewelers.
I would bet on
any given Friday
or Saturday night
more kisses begin with
a Budweiser
than Kay.
I think part of a best friend's job
should be to immediately
clear your computer's history
if you die.
2.
Nothing sucks more than
that moment during an argument
when you realize you're wrong.
3.
I totally take back
all those times
I didn't want to nap
when I was younger.
4.
There is great need
for a sarcasm font.
5.
How the hell are you
supposed to fold
a fitted sheet?
6.
Was learning cursive
really necessary?
7.
Map Quest needs
to start their directions
on #5.
I'm pretty sure
I know how to get
out of my neighborhood.
8.
Obituaries
would be a lot more interesting
if they told you
how the person died.
9.
I can't remember the last time
I wasn't at least
kind of tired.
10.
Bad decisions
make good stories.
11.
You never know
when it will strike,
but there comes
a moment at work
when you know that you
just aren't going to do
anything productive
for the rest of the day.
12.
Can we all just
agree to ignore
whatever comes
after Blue Ray?
I don't want to
have to
restart
my collection...
a-damn-gain.
13.
I'm always
slightly terrified
when I exit
out of Word
and it asks me
if I want to save
any changes to
the ten-page paper
that I swear
I did not make
any changes to.
14.
"Do not machine wash
or tumble dry"
means I will
never wash this
-- ever --.
15.
I hate it when
I miss a call
by the last ring
(Hello? Hello? Damn it!),
but when
I immediately
call back,
it rings nine times
and then goes
to voicemail.
What'd you do after
I didn't answer?
Drop the phone
and run away?
16.
I hate leaving
my house
confident and looking good
and then not
seeing anyone
of importance
the entire day.
What a waste.
17.
I keep some people's
phone numbers
in my phone
just so I know
not to answer
when they call.
18.
My 4-year old son
asked me in the car
the other day
"Dad what would happen
if you ran over a ninja?"
How the hell
do I respond
to that?
19.
I think the freezer
deserves a light
as well as the fridge..
20.
I disagree
with Kay Jewelers.
I would bet on
any given Friday
or Saturday night
more kisses begin with
a Budweiser
than Kay.
