Popeye
Well-known member
• An Eskimo got so cold while paddling his kayak that he built a fire to warm himself up. Naturally, the kayak sank, and he had to swim to shore in the icy waters.
This only goes to show that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
• A royal castle was under siege from an infidel army. The only hope was to send one of the knights to get help, but the problem was that all of the horses had been killed in the battle.
"We must get help," said the king.
"I know," replied the leader of his army, "but we have no horses. If a knight goes on foot, he will be slain at once."
"Is there not another animal he can ride?" demanded the king. "What about that mighty wolfhound? It c could surely bear the weight of a man."
"No, no," pleaded the army leader. "The wolfhound is too dangerous. Look at its snarling teeth. I w wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."
• A man moved to another state where he didn't know anyone. In the move, his old piano was jarred, and of course it needed to be tuned when the man arrived.
So he asked around, and was told that Earl Opporknockity was the best piano tuner in the area. The man called Earl and hired him to tune his piano.
Earl had a keen ear and a deft touch, and did a wonderful job tuning the old piano. The man was able to play beautiful music once again, and was very pleased.
After a year or so the old piano started producing sour notes again. So the man called Earl, and asked him to come work his magic on the old piano again.
To the man's surprise, Earl refused, saying "Sorry, I can't accept the job."
"Why not?" the man wanted to know. "I'll pay you twice as much as last time if you'll just come tune my piano."
"Haven't you heard?" Earl asked, "Opporknockity only tunes once."
This only goes to show that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
• A royal castle was under siege from an infidel army. The only hope was to send one of the knights to get help, but the problem was that all of the horses had been killed in the battle.
"We must get help," said the king.
"I know," replied the leader of his army, "but we have no horses. If a knight goes on foot, he will be slain at once."
"Is there not another animal he can ride?" demanded the king. "What about that mighty wolfhound? It c could surely bear the weight of a man."
"No, no," pleaded the army leader. "The wolfhound is too dangerous. Look at its snarling teeth. I w wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."
• A man moved to another state where he didn't know anyone. In the move, his old piano was jarred, and of course it needed to be tuned when the man arrived.
So he asked around, and was told that Earl Opporknockity was the best piano tuner in the area. The man called Earl and hired him to tune his piano.
Earl had a keen ear and a deft touch, and did a wonderful job tuning the old piano. The man was able to play beautiful music once again, and was very pleased.
After a year or so the old piano started producing sour notes again. So the man called Earl, and asked him to come work his magic on the old piano again.
To the man's surprise, Earl refused, saying "Sorry, I can't accept the job."
"Why not?" the man wanted to know. "I'll pay you twice as much as last time if you'll just come tune my piano."
"Haven't you heard?" Earl asked, "Opporknockity only tunes once."
