FishingCop
Well-known member
Two elderly men were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Joe noticed something funny about Bruce’s ear and he said, “Bruce, do you know you’ve got a suppository in your right ear?” Bruce answered, “What?” Joe repeated louder, “Bruce you have a suppository in your right ear.” Bruce answered, “I have a suppository in my ear?” He pulled it out and stared at it. Then he said, “Joe, I’m glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.”
When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.” Replied the widow, “I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big **** he always was.”
An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the lighting, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn’t find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: “Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. please advise.” The old man faxed back: “Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.”
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He said, “I have a 22 year old wife at home. She makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.” I said, “Well, then why are you crying?” He said, “She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me in the afternoon.” I said, “Well, why are you crying?” He said, “For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me again.” I said, “Well, why are you crying?” He said, “I can’t remember where I live!”
Two elderly men had been friends for many decades. Over the years they shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me….I know we’ve been friends for a long time….but I just can’t think of your name! I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.” For at least three minutes he just stared and glared at him. Finally he said, “How soon do you need to know?”
When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.” Replied the widow, “I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big **** he always was.”
An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the lighting, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn’t find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: “Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. please advise.” The old man faxed back: “Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.”
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He said, “I have a 22 year old wife at home. She makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.” I said, “Well, then why are you crying?” He said, “She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me in the afternoon.” I said, “Well, why are you crying?” He said, “For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me again.” I said, “Well, why are you crying?” He said, “I can’t remember where I live!”
Two elderly men had been friends for many decades. Over the years they shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me….I know we’ve been friends for a long time….but I just can’t think of your name! I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.” For at least three minutes he just stared and glared at him. Finally he said, “How soon do you need to know?”
