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Good ole redneck....nothing wrong with that !!
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crannman
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crannman
Well-known member
crannman
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Tackle? What new tackle?
crannman
Well-known member
Oh school days!
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
crannman
Well-known member
After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said,
‘Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I did sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night. Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, 3 motorbikes, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but sleep with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things.’
My wife, being a very reasonable woman, told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
‘Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I did sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night. Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, 3 motorbikes, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but sleep with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things.’
My wife, being a very reasonable woman, told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
I went to an Inter-Religion Integration Seminar recently.
The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”
I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.
The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!
I was less amused and I told him there was nothing wrong with me.
The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!”
I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
The Hindu Sadhu came and said, "Beta, you will walk on your legs today."
I said "There is nothing wrong with my legs."
The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!”
I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After the Seminar, I went out to the parking lot and found my car had been stolen. I'm walking today.
The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”
I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.
The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!
I was less amused and I told him there was nothing wrong with me.
The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!”
I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
The Hindu Sadhu came and said, "Beta, you will walk on your legs today."
I said "There is nothing wrong with my legs."
The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!”
I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After the Seminar, I went out to the parking lot and found my car had been stolen. I'm walking today.
