Southern Ones - No Offense Meant, I was born in TN Myself :)

[FishingCop]

> Tennessee
> The owner of a golf
> course was confused about
> paying an invoice, so he
> decided to ask his
> secretary for some
> mathematical help. He
> called her into his
> office and said, 'You
> graduated from the
> University of Tennessee
> and I need some help. If
> I were to give you
> $20,000, minus 14%, how
> much would you take off?'
>
> The secretary thought a
> moment, and then replied,
> 'Everything but my
> earrings.'


>
> Alabama
> A group of Alabama
> friends went deer hunting
> and paired off in two's
> for the day. That night,
> one of the hunters
> returned alone, staggering
> under the weight of an
> eight-point buck.
> 'Where's Henry?' the
> others asked..
> 'Henry had a stroke of
> some kind. He's a couple
> of miles back up the
> trail,' the successful
> hunter replied.
> 'You left Henry laying
> out there and carried the
> deer back?' they
> inquired.
> 'A tough call,' nodded
> the hunter.... 'But I
> figured no one is going to
> steal Henry!'
>
> Texas
> The sheriff pulled up
> next to the guy unloading
> garbage out of his pick-up
> into the ditch. The
> sheriff asked, 'Why are
> you dumping garbage in
> the ditch? Don't you see
> that sign right over your
> head'.
> 'Yep', he replied.
> 'That's why I'm dumpin it
> here, 'cause it says
> 'Fine For Dumping
> Garbage'.
>
> Louisiana
> A senior at LSU was
> overheard saying, 'When
> the end of the world
> comes, I hope to be in
> Louisiana .' When asked
> why, he replied he'd
> rather be in Louisiana
> because everything
> happens in Louisiana 20
> years later than in the
> rest of the civilized
> world.
>
> Mississippi
> The young man from
> Mississippi came running
> into the store and said to
> his buddy, 'Bubba,
> somebody just stole your
> pickup truck from the
> parking lot!'
> Bubba replied, 'Did you
> see who it was?'
> The young man answered, 'I
> couldn't tell, but I got
> his license number.'
>
> Georgia
> A Georgia State trooper
> pulled over a pickup on
> I-75. The trooper asked,
> 'Got any I.D.?'
> The driver replied, 'Bout
> whut?'
>
> North Carolina
> A man in North Carolina
> had a flat tire, pulled
> off on the side of the
> road, and proceeded to
> put a bouquet of flowers
> in front of the car and
> one behind it. Then he got
> back in the car to wait.
> A passerby studied
> the scene as he drove by
> and was so curious he
> turned around and went
> back. He asked the fellow
> what the problem was.
> The man replied, 'I have
> a flat tire.'
> The passerby asked, 'But
> what's with the flowers?'
> The man responded, 'When
> you break down, they tell
> you to put flares in the
> front and flares in the
> back. Hey, it don't make
> no sense to me neither.'
>
> And this from South
> Carolina
> 'You can say what you
> want about the South, but
> I ain't never heard of
> anyone wanting to retire
> to the North.
>

 

[DocWatson]

Get yourself a copy of the FREE utility Strip Mail. It will clean up all that forwarded email crap in a couple clicks. Like this....

Tennessee The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?'

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, 'Everything but my earrings.'

Alabama A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. 'Where's Henry?' the others asked.. 'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,' the successful hunter replied. 'You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?' they inquired. 'A tough call,' nodded the hunter.... 'But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!'

Texas The sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The sheriff asked, 'Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head'. 'Yep', he replied. 'That's why I'm dumpin it here, 'cause it says 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'.

Louisiana A senior at LSU was overheard saying, 'When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .' When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

Mississippi The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!' Bubba replied, 'Did you see who it was?' The young man answered, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his license number.'

Georgia A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-75. The trooper asked, 'Got any I. D.?' The driver replied, 'Bout whut?'

North Carolina A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, 'I have a flat tire.' The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?' The man responded, 'When you break down, they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither.'

And this from South Carolina 'You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North.

 

[Waterwings]

Lol, good ones, FC! 8)

 

[Johnny5]

:LOL2: I'm from N.C.