Chuck Norris Facts?

[little anth]

lol :lol:

 

[Captain Ahab]

Bill Nye is the Chuck Norris of science

This might be the best one yet

Good One Flounder (no head)

 

[Popeye]

Chuck Norris is the Bill Nye of Martial Arts?

 

[Captain Ahab]

Chuck Norris invented water.


Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

 

[Waterwings]

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Lol, good one!

 

[mtnman]

you guys really scare me sometimes!

 

[Jim]

you guys really scare me sometimes!

I agree!


No one mentions that Rambo will kick Chuckies ass in a second. :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

 

[Captain Ahab]

Rambo vs. Chuck Norris


One is a brooding, tormented Vietnam vet with a penchant for causing international incidents. The other is an iconic martial arts expert who has a beard of granite and a heart for Huckabee. But if these two aging warriors met between the ropes, who would be the last man standing?


Vital statistics


Rambo:
Height: 5 feet 9 inches.
Weight: 173 pounds.
Age: 61

Norris:
Height: 5 feet 10 inches.
Weight: 185 pounds.
Age: 67

Advantage: Rambo. Boxing experts agree that reflexes begin to slow down around age 64

What would they say?

Ronald Reagan: "It's morning in America, but it's good night for Chuck! He'll fall harder than the USSR. Rambo KOs him in the fourth."

Michael Jackson: "In a world filled with hate, we need peace and harmony for the children. But Norris will slap that big bully silly! Chuck in 7."

Pac Man: "Wonka-wonka-wonka-wonka-wonka-wonka-wonka." (Translation: Rambo wins in a decision.)


Outcome
Rambo slices up Norris in round 5 (and doesn't remember it afterward).

 

[slim357]

No way Sylvester Stallone, John J Rambo, could kick Chuck Norris' ass. First off Sylvester Stallone cant even talk so how would be beg for mercy, secondly hes becomming senile, i dont think he knows where he is half the time. I dont think he would ever see a roundhouse comming.

 

[Jim]

No way Sylvester Stallone, John J Rambo, could kick Chuck Norris' ass. First off Sylvester Stallone cant even talk so how would be beg for mercy, secondly hes becomming senile, i dont think he knows where he is half the time. I dont think he would ever see a roundhouse comming.

Slim, Have you ever heard of "The eye of the Tiger" Rocky is Rambo's alter ego.

 

[slim357]

Slim, Have you ever heard of "The eye of the Tiger" Rocky is Rambo's alter ego.

Jim i would expect this logic from some of the philly guys, and yes he is philly's greatest hero (even tho hes not real), but not from you. You should know better.

 

[Jim]

Slim, Have you ever heard of "The eye of the Tiger" Rocky is Rambo's alter ego.

Jim i would expect this logic from some of the philly guys, and yes he is philly's greatest hero (even tho hes not real), but not from you. You should know better.

I forgot the Philly thing......I take it all back! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Popeye]

Rambo could indeed kick Chuck's ass. Literally. But then Chuck would whip around and round house kick him into last week. The only way Rambo could ever kill someone hand to hand was by surprising them and Chuck isn't gonna fall for any of that cover yourself with mud and pretend you are part of the hill stuff. Rambo isn't the only one familiar with the M-60 machine gun either. He would have to call Estelle Getty (Stop or my Mom will Shoot) for back up.

 

[Captain Ahab]

We love our heroes here

 

[Popeye]

Go to google and enter, find chuck norris and then click "I'm feeling lucky"

Go ahead, you know you want to.

 

[boathauler32]

chuck norris is so tough, he doesn't even have a chin, just another fist under his beard - "family guy"

 

[shizzy]

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.


When Chuck Norris uses Verizon Wireless, you still can't hear him now.

 

[redbug]

Chuck Norris neither melts in your mouth nor in your hand. He shreds your trachea before ravaging your soul with a combination of chocolate, whickey, roundhouse kicks and death. Oh, and pain. Lots of pain.

 

[BassAddict]

i am the illegitimate son of Chuck Norris, he wont admit it tho......................

 

[Popeye]

i am the illegitimate son of Chuck Norris, he wont admit it tho......................

I do not believe that as Chuck Norris has never done an illegitimate thing in his life.