Funnies

[Lost But Happy]

 

[LDUBS]

 

[Stand Up]

 

[Stand Up]

 

[Stand Up]

 

[Stand Up]

 

[Lost But Happy]

 

[Lost But Happy]

 

[Lost But Happy]

 

[Lost But Happy]

 

[Stand Up]

 

[Stand Up]

 

[Stand Up]

 

[Stand Up]

 

[Stand Up]

 

[LDUBS]

 

[LDUBS]

Thoughts Of A Confused Senior:

• So now Cocaine is legal in Oregon, but straws aren’t. That must be frustrating.

• Still trying to get my head around the fact that ‘Take Out’ can mean food, dating, or murder.

• Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers. If you do find one, what’s your plan?

• If only vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

• When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, “Probably, but I wouldn’t count on it.

• The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.

• When a kid says “Daddy, I want Mommy” that’s the kid version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor”.

• It’s weird being the same age as old people.

• Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say “CLOSE ENOUGH”.

• Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

• Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

• I just got a present labelled, ‘From Mom and Dad’, and I know darn well Dad has no idea what’s inside.

• Someone said, “Nothing rhymes with orange.” I said, “No, it doesn’t.”

• There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

• Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.

• I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.

 

[airshot]

Thoughts Of A Confused Senior:

• So now Cocaine is legal in Oregon, but straws aren’t. That must be frustrating.

• Still trying to get my head around the fact that ‘Take Out’ can mean food, dating, or murder.

• Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers. If you do find one, what’s your plan?

• If only vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

• When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, “Probably, but I wouldn’t count on it.

• The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.

• When a kid says “Daddy, I want Mommy” that’s the kid version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor”.

• It’s weird being the same age as old people.

• Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say “CLOSE ENOUGH”.

• Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

• Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

• I just got a present labelled, ‘From Mom and Dad’, and I know darn well Dad has no idea what’s inside.

• Someone said, “Nothing rhymes with orange.” I said, “No, it doesn’t.”

• There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

• Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.

• I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.

How true they all are !!

 

[Lost But Happy]

 

[Lost But Happy]